When you have nothing to say…
Pattern design printed digitally on fabric via spoonflower
This week, I’m going back to grad school…just in my mind of course! This year marks an important transition because I’m finally reclaiming something I have always loved to create: pattern design. Not only do I use pattern in my textile artworks but patterns surround everyone everyday and make a difference in how we feel in our environment - simply put. Aesthetically, I’m closer to a maximalist so naturally lots of patterns, colors, and texture is what I like! Keep reading to hear about the time when I felt crushed about wanting this…
Self-Doubt on the Artistic Journey
When I reflect on my time in graduate school pursuing my MFA, I'm reminded of the excitement and vulnerability that came with being a fresh, aspiring artist. Like many creatives, I grappled with insecurities and doubts about whether I truly belonged in the art world. The dichotomy between "design" and "fine art" seemed to tug at my heartstrings, leaving me torn between my love for creating patterns and the traditional expectations of what constituted "true" art.
In progress picture of my artwork titled The Forest of my Wild Heart. Screenprinted patterned textiles i made and then reuse to create new works.
Overcoming Criticism and Rediscovering Confidence
One pivotal moment during a studio critique shattered my confidence and left me questioning my artistic desires. A respected professor came to my studio for a visit to take a look at my progress. She dismissed my passion for surface pattern designs, saying that I had "nothing to say" with making patterns and that my focus should solely be on fine art. This criticism cut deep, fueling my imposter syndrome and casting shadows of doubt over what I thought was possible with art. However, as the years passed and life unfolded, my desire to create surface design patterns persisted, whispering a silent but persistent call.
Personal Expression and Finding Hope in Art
Now, nearly 15 years later, I stand at a crossroads, ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and creative reclamation. I've come to realize that my voice as an artist is valid, regardless of the medium or genre I choose to explore. As I embrace my story and redefine what it means to be an artist, I find comfort in the belief that art transcends boundaries and speaks to the universal human experience. Whether adorning the cushions of a cozy couch or adorning gallery walls with profound narratives, art has the power to inspire, uplift, and bring hope to our lives.
In hindsight, the criticism I received served as a valuable lesson, prompting me to delve deeper into the "why" behind my artistic pursuits and reaffirming my commitment to expressing a greater truth through my work. As I embark on this journey of creative rediscovery, I invite others who have grappled with self-doubt and uncertainty to listen to the whispers of their hearts and embrace the truth that their artistic voices matter. In a world weighed down by darkness, let us find hope in the beauty of creation and the transformative power of expressing what you desire.